POTTERS IPHONE DRABBLES
by Draco Lucius Abraxas Malfoy
Summary: THIS HUMOROUS LOAD OF DRABBLES ON HOW DISTRACTING AN IPHONE CAN BE. DH SPOILERS. FUNNY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
1. Chapter 1

AN/RANDR REVIEW OR DIE

HARRY POTTER GRIPPED HIS WAND AND POINTED IT STRAIGHT AT VOLDEMORT AND THEN...

"AVADA KEDA..."

"*ONE SECOND TOM...I JUST GOT AN IMESSAGE...OOOH AND AN EMAIL AND GUESS WHAT SOMEBODY BEAT MY WORLDWIDE RECORD ON TEMPLE RUN...OH MY GOD I AM BEING ATTACKED ON A GAME!"

"PETTY MUGGLE TOOL, AVADA KEDA..."

"SHUT UP TOM...I AM ON FACETIME!"

"YOU DARE!"

"SURE YEAH WE SHOULD PLAY TRUTH OR DARE...I HAVE THE APP ON MY PHONE."

"EH!" "AVADA KEDAVRA."

"OOOOOOOH...PROTEGO...IT WORKED IT WORKED I DEFENDED MYSELF...I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE HAD AN APP ABOUT US AND IT WORKS AS A WAND!"

"AVAAAAAAADAAAAAA KEDAAA..."

"WAIT...OK WHERE WERE WE?" "OH YEAH...EXPELLI..."

"WAIT YOU MUDBLOOD." "I JUST GOT A FACETIME..."

OK...WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT. IT WAS LIKE A PILE OF POO BUT RANR NONETHLESS AND I MIGHT EVEN GET A SECOND CHAPTER IN. THESE ARE IPHONE/HARRY POTTER DRABBLES!

RANDR AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET A FACETIME FROM HARRY OR IF YOUR CRUEL...WELL LETS JUST SAY VOLDEMORT IS UGLY AND HAS FACETIME...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

RANDR OR R&R WHICHEVER STYLE YOU LIKE...


	2. Chapter 2

**AN/ IF YOU ARE READING WELL I AM REALLY SURPRISED YOU WERE NOT PUT OFF BY THE FIRST DRABBLE.**

****"Harry there are still like 5 horcruxes left to hunt how are we going to do it." said hermione  
"Yeah Harry how are we going to do it...i mean he leaves you a mission...a phone...your snitch...you must have a way or idea of what your going to do." said ron  
"Lets cut to the chase Ron. I have no parents. you want to be home by christmas you killed me on temple run.I was on the blues...so...s-soo-so. Goodbye leave!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY WHY...WHAT HAVE _I _DONE...I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOOOOO! I AM SORRY I KILLED YOU ON TEMPLE RUN!" SCREAMED RON

"Well that is just not going to cut it Ron, go stuff your face in lavenders or with a chicken...he was on that run for fifteen whole days!" said hermione.

Harry heard a beep and looked at his phone and there he saw it...the message...the horrible truth...20% Remaining...

"£$# %!*&%£$?"£!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" HE SCREAMED


	3. Chapter 3

HARRY HISSED. There was a pain in his head...in his scar...he screamed!

"Whats wrong Harry?" asked hermione

"Well loads is wrong, ron is gone, my scar hurts...i have only 20 percent...and well my scar hurts but i guess thats a good thing coz voldy moldy died on temple run and thats a good thing coz he cant beat my high score..."

"I miss him..."

"He killed me on temple run..."  
Hermione burst out crying.

"Don't be sad hermione...ron's gone and i know but we have to deal with life..."  
"It's because you died on t-t-tem-ple run."

VOLDEMORTS STORY

"I got a new game...It is the amazing spider man...i died..." said voldy moldy

"its a muggle phone.."

"who cares belatrix."

"i'm gonna send the gryffindork an imessage after...oh damn...i died on temple run and just when i was about to beat the mudblood potheads high score.

AN/OKKKKKKK IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THAN YOU ARE WEIRD

RANDR R&R


	4. Chapter 4

"Severus Snape I really am sorry...but the elder wand cannot truly be mine if you. Don't. Die!" Said Voldemort  
"Nooooo! Nooooooooo! Please. Let me remain...just another round of Temple Run...Please..." He begged  
"kk,"

17 HOURS LATER

"WAS THAT ALL ONE ROUND BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR 17 HOU..."

**POP**

Severus Snape was gone...alive and with the WORLD TEMPLE RUN RECORD...

~ALERT SOUND~

"!" Screamed Voldemort

Harry potter had his wand trained at Bellatrix Le'strange's iPhone

~ALERT SOUND~

The whole battle went silent and everyone took out their iPhone's

The scream of true horror echoed all throughout the great hall. But none louder than Harry Potter's  
The slimy greasy potions master had beaten him...

**(A/N: IN DEDICATION TO THE DEAD POTION'S MASTER...SEVERUS SNAPE.!)**

_Severus Snape had escaped...the dark lord could die now...hahahahahahaha he had made it. Then he looked up at the great hall he had dropped in and looked at all those horrible angry faces of men and women, Dark or Light. And they were all going to kill him...in their lead was none other than Harry Potter. they all screamed the unforgivable in unision..._

**He Died...it's rough...I know...OI don't throw a shoe at me...I know it's harsh but...**

(AN/OK READ MY **_HERMIONE'S DARK DAYS _****FANFIC. REVIEW! I THINK THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE AN ACTUAL CHAPTER WITH ACTUAL HAPPENINGS WITH APPLE CRAZY WIZARD'S!)**

**NEXT: IPAD IS RELEASED IN THE WIZARDING WORLD. MACBOOK MAKES IT'S DEBUT. APPLE TV IS OUT BUT WHERE'S THE TV.)**

**TV AD FOR THE FINAL CONCLUSION**

**THE END IS NEAR**

***RON PUNCHES DRACO***

**THE HORROR HAS ARRIVED**

***A SNAIL GETS A WAND (WHAT?)***

**IT'S TIME **

***A CLOCK GETS SMASHED***

**WANDS OUT**

***EVERYONE PLAYS HP SPELLS***

**FINAL BATTLE**

***THE IMESSAGES WITH BAD STUFF IN THEM FLY BETWEEN THE TO TEAM'S***

**VIRUS SPREADS**

***A WEREWOLF BITES***

**AND**

***HARRY SENDS A VIRUS TO VLODY MOLDY***

**IT'S THE FINAL CONCLUSION**

**IT'S TIME**

*******_GRANDFATHER _****CLOCK SMASHED***

**GET READY**


	5. THE EPIC CONCLUSION

**AN/ THE MUCH AWAITED FOR CONCLUSION WITH NO FURTHER ADO...BEGIN!**

****Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world was stroking the iPad. It was something new to him and he felt as if he'd never let it go.  
"MY PRESSSHUSSSSSS!" Screamed Harry when Kingsley had attempted to steal it. Harry grabbed a case for it as soon as possible.  
"Lovely." Said Harry and then he grabbed the iPad and waved his wand and the waltz began.

Voldy Moldy was shocked at how the stuck up Harry Potter got everything he wanted and would now be probably waltzing with the iPad but that was Voldy's Job and Voldy was going to kill Harry for it when he saw the alert appear on his iPhone...MacBook is now out. Voldemort was at the Apple Store before you could blink.  
"AVADA KEDAVRA! AVADA KEDAVRA! AVADA KEDAVRA! CRUUUUUCIO! IMPERIO! STUPEFY! KEDAVRA MAXIMA!"  
The store was now littered with muggle body's...just for the pleasure he ate a muggle...it tasted horrible.  
He grabbed the one MacBook he found still in the box and passionatley snogged it. He apparated back and opened the box...it was no hope...Voldemort was distracted and he wasn't going back to the battle except if the MacBook was stolen...Exactly thought bellatrix and started to plan.

Ron had heard of the apple TV but he just didn't get it.  
"How the bloody hell do you use this thing?" He asked Hermione  
She went to grab the Apple TV when Ron slapped her three feet away.  
"STAY AWAY FROM IT YOU...YOU...YOU FOUL...MUDBLOOD!" Ron shouted and Hermione stormed out of the room and straight out next to harry.

She saw the iPad in his hand and she was disttressed and angry and she grabbed it and ran. Ronald followed hermione wanting the iPad now. Hermione ran into Draco Malfoy who grabbed the iPad and stupefyed her...he jumped and kicked Ronald Weasley's bum and then Ronald ...punched him. Draco flew straight towards the apple tree and the iPad flew out of his hands. Ronald jumped for it but was intercepted by the now awake Hermione kicking him in the face and then somewhere that hurt. Harry was just about to catch it when it fell and got the cloud shaped scar.

"!"

Draco flew towards the apple tree and hit his head...hard. The apple came flying down...just about tofall on the floor when he grabbed it and when he looked at it he felt nothing but love for the amazing green apple and he pationatley stroked it and then bit in to it. So tasty he thought to himself.

Draco notices his wand nearby and grabs it and enlarges the apple and dances with it.

Voldemort was in his bed with the MacBook under his pillow when bellatrix grabbed it and threw it out to where she saw Draco kissing an overlarge apple and Harry screaming something about clouds and Hermione screeching and Ron spitting teeth. It flew straight into Hermione's arms and she started to sing when she saw it.

"_My lovely machine  
You're meant for me  
My soul is yours to COMMAND!  
and my heart is your's to love!  
If you fall down low...  
I'll bring you bach high  
to the cloooooouuuuuds!"_

When Harry heard her singing about how lovely the Mac was he instantly stood up and started to shout at her and it developed into a rap battle

HERMIONE

_My Macbook's great  
your iPad's dumb  
Go cry to yo momma  
coz you don't have one_

HARRY

_My iPad's touch screen  
Your laptop's dumb screen  
My proccesors high and yours is low  
Your intilect's too low to get an iPad_

__HERMIONE

_Well least i'm not poor.  
Have I struck a nerve.  
Your iPad's small an' fake_

__HARRY

_Well at least I bought mine unlike you  
The angels dropped it on your frizzy head hoping to kill you_

__Hermione sprinted away. and into the great hall she threw a bannana at the small clock near the slytherin table. SMASH.

"My dark lord. THEY HAVE YOUR MACBOOK!" screamed Bellatrix  
"Who what why. NOOOOOOO!"  
POP

Voldemort stands infront of his whole army and on the other side stands the light side.  
Harry pulls his iPhone out when he see's the most strange thing. Draco Malfoy sticks his wand in the snail next to him and it comes towards him and slides away.

The moon comes out and greyback screams and transforms. He jumps the extraordinary length and bites molly who transforms straight away and bites arthur weasley.

The bite spreads. Ron gets an iMessage saying he's a bum. He screams in pain. It's from bellatrix. Voldemort then send a multiple text to everyone saying surrender.

Hermione throws a pear at the grandfather clock and it gets smashed and the she walks out into the battle.

Draco is pationatley snogging with the apple and starts biting it in love.

Harry gets bored of the constant messages being sent to him and he target's voldy and the virus flys to voldy's system. The whole battle stops when Voldemort drops to his knees.

"MY !"

and then it happens, Ron grabs harry and bites his face off.

The werewolves eat everybody and one person lives on.

He still snogs the apple...

END

R&R

Sorry for the sad ending

that is life.

The epic conclusion is out

wait for the fanfic number two.

coming soon...


End file.
